Time out = time in: Heni's been with us now for as long as we were without him

It's been 7 weeks that our son Henri was born here in the Philippines. I can remember thinking, "How are we going to do this?" We had no health insurance. All our trusted progressive birth thinkers were back in the States. We were strangers in a strange land, unsure of the quality of care that we would get. We knew that we would have to be advocates for ourselves, and ask the hard questions, because it seemed that the docs did not know what to do with us. High blood pressure causing baby to grow at a slower rate, and low amniotic fluid gave docs a scare and they pushed for an emergent C-section at another hospital 45 minutes away. Trouble was, labor had already started, and attempts to slow contractions were to no avail. By the time the ambulance came, Marisol was in active labor. Incredibly, only a nurse was to accompany us on the way, with clamps and scissors wrapped tightly in what looked like newspaper material. Later on, he revealed to us that he came with us knowing that it would be a 90 percent chance of ambulance delivery.

I remember informing the docs that a c-section would be devastating for Marisol, and that psychological help would be needed for us both if one occurred. When the decision came for the C-section, I knew I was in it for the long haul, and preparing myself for hard times ahead. Everything was a blur after that, just packing for the move to the new hospital, and me going to billing to pay for the hospital stay before they would release Marisol to the ambulance. As if stunned, I remember going through the motions, and following as Marisol was wheeled into the ambulance, already contracting minutes apart, me just going into an intense empathy mode, and trying to relax so that she could relax.

I remember the bumps and the jostling of the ambulance in the dark of early morning, sensing that we were going immensely fast. All the while concentrating on Marisol's breathing, then all of a sudden it was time to push. She knew it was time, and baby came quickly...

Henri was small and was placed in a clear plastic incubator for 6 weeks. We drove 45 minutes everyday to visit and deliver breast milk to him. It was exhausting, but we knew we had to get him the milk. Each increase in mL of milk that he could consume was thrilling. First 2 cc's then slowly up to 3, 4, then in no time 18, 1 ounce, 2 ounces. After 6 weeks, and at 3 ounces of milk being consumed, and weight at 1.8 kilos we were afraid to take him home, but were excited at the same time.

Now as I sit and watch him breath, early morning, and see how much he's grown, I am thankful to our community of support who prayed and sent their cosmic energy our way, whose thoughts flew across the miles to give us strength and no doubt spur Henri on to new heights. I'm thankful for the small steps, his laughing, his soft vocalisations that let us know that Henri is coming into his own.